Newspaper humor columnist, public speaker, and playwright Monica Lewis' laugh-out-loud observations on motherhood, relationships, balancing work and family, and the quirks of everyday life, hit home on every page. On knowing you're too old to have a baby: qYou know you're too old when, to you, a period is just something that goes at the end of a sentence.q On the irony of giving your kids a time-out: qMost parents would love the luxury of taking an hour to just sit in our rooms. Hell, I'd even sit in the corner if it meant a moment or two of peace and quiet.q On helping your child with math homework: qI'm hopeless at math. For me, Cardinal Numbers are the amount of red birds on the tree outside my bedroom window.q On Santa Claus: qIf Santa was a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the store bag.q On Not Cleaning the Refrigerator: qIf food were human, I'd be considered a slumlord.qFrom my old boyfriend Jim, I learned techniques in Bondo and fiberglass matting to fix the rust holes in myold Toyota onthe cheap. Another oldbeau helped meto getmy pathetic girlthrow to make it to second base when I was a softball catcher.
|Title||:||The Stuporwoman Files|
|Publisher||:||iUniverse - 2005-03-03|